Cliff Pervocracy, “Asking.”
This whole article on consent and stuff, just… *fangasm*
(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)
I am also in no way obligated to say yes to anything. And if I said ‘No I don’t really want to go for a walk’ you could go for a walk yourself or maybe I would want to go for a walk later or maybe we could just do something else. And that would be fine. And unless I volunteered the reasoning behind it, then you don’t need to know why or you ask once I say I don’t want to talk about it you let it go. It’s literally one of the EASIEST things.
Claiming otherwise is a trademark of rape culture. Pushing for a reason when the other person is not comfortable giving one, has none in particular, or has said they don’t want to share is a trademark of rape culture. Feeling you are entitled to either the action itself or a reason behind a no is a trademark of rape culture.
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Reblogging for RIGHTEOUS TRUTH.
(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)
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Stephen R. Covey (via ohmoomers)
Yeahhh note to self: work on this.
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(via locksandglasses)
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(Source: wolf-teeth, via snowstorminjuly)
Did you know that there is an exercise that you can do anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone that can intensify and improve your orgasms? It’s true! You can strengthen your pubococcygeus (mercifully abbreviated to “PC”) muscles just like you strengthen any other muscle, but without coughing up gym fees!
People of all genders have PC muscles… they’re an integral part of our body’s make-up, supporting all of our pelvic organs. The PC muscles are hammock-shaped and stretch from the pubic bone to the coccyx (tailbone), forming the floor of the pelvic cavity. These are the muscles you contract to stop yourself from peeing. They are also a huge part of orgasmic muscle contractions.
The exercises for developing PC muscles are called Kegel exercises (after Dr. Arnold Kegel, who “discovered” them) and they are very easy to learn. Basically, all you are doing is pretending to stop the flow of pee.
So. Clench your pee-stopping muscles. Do it! Yes, right now! No one is watching. There you go. Clench and unclench ten times in a row, playing with the length of time for each. Clench for two seconds, release for two. Clench and release 3 times in rapid succession, perhaps to the beat of your favorite song. You get the idea. Do three sets of 10 clenches, three times a day. That’s it! You can do these on the train, while watching TV, at work, anywhere! Just don’t do them while you’re actually peeing, because that could lead to urinary tract infections, which are no fun at all.
There are also toys you can purchase to help with Kegel exercises, such as the Energie kegel exerciser or the Njoy Pure Wand, which work pretty much like a regular barbell, except for the fact that one end is inserted into the vagina. Smart Balls are another good Kegel toy–they are jingling balls encased in silicone that are inserted into the vagina, where Kegels can be practiced by clenching and unclenching around the balls.
In no time you’ll notice your orgasms will increase in duration and intensity! Aside from the sexual benefits of exercising your PC muscles, these exercises have been proven to help with age-related and pregnancy related incontinence. So easy and so good for you!
PS: These are really helpful for people experiencing Pain during sex, working your muscles and becoming aware of what tenses up during intercourse is invaluable! That applies to all genders
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It’s funny. As much as Americans are obsessed with sex and sexuality, we are rarely given good advice (or any advice!) on how to explore our own sexual pleasure. Women in particular are implicitly told to let their male partners “give” them orgasms, leaving many women frustrated when this just doesn’t happen. It’s nobody’s fault, really, because how can anyone know how to please someone else if that person doesn’t know how to please herself?
We hear from a lot of women who think they are emotionally or physically abnormal because they haven’t had an orgasm at 20, 30, 60, 70 years of age. Sheer numbers alone should tell you that this is normal! We tell women: Don’t think of it as an inability. Think of this as your “pre-orgasmic” stage!
Here are some tips to help you on your journey!
Get out the map! It’s hard to know what you’re working toward if you’ve never had an orgasm, but it’s even harder if you don’t know what tools you’re working with! Don’t be afraid to whip out a little handheld mirror and really examine your parts. Is your clit exposed or hidden? What color are your labia? How do they feel when you stroke them? A lot of women say they don’t know whether or not they’ve experienced orgasm, and they very well may have but didn’t know what muscle contractions felt like! Once you’ve taken a good look at your pussy, experiment with your pelvic muscles by squeezing the muscles you would squeeze to stop the flow of pee. These are the main muscles that contract and release when you are experiencing orgasm. In fact, just practicing with contracting and releasing these muscles can strengthen them and intensify orgasm!
Relax. This is not a race. We are not only interested in the finish line. This is a journey to figure out all the delicious facets of your desire. This is about exploring yourself, what you want, what makes you swoon. So why rush? You wouldn’t want to miss out on anything, would you? The surest way to scare away an orgasm is by pressuring it. So begin by taking time out for yourself. Pamper yourself with whatever relaxes you–a long shower, your favorite meal, fuzzy slippers–there is no wrong way to do this! Only once you’re good and relaxed should you even start moving downtown. Make yourself and your pleasure your first priority.
Support the arts! The erotic arts, that is! Get yourself hot and bothered by experimenting with explicit movies (many are catered towards women’s desires), steamy written erotica, or your own fantasies. Explore your mind for what turns you on–the brain, after all, is our biggest and most receptive sex organ!
Push your buttons… all of them. Now it’s time to explore. But you don’t need to dive right for your pussy! Play with your nipples, stroke your hips, inner thighs, rock back and forth against your whole hand. Finally, touch your clitoris. Do you like direct pressure or rubbing? Or do you prefer to rub it indirectly through the hood? Side to side? Around and around? Fast or slow? Try circling a finger around the opening to your vagina. Push it inside. Feel for your G-spot. There are endless possibilities. Experiment, and find what works for you. And then keep experimenting! What you prefer one day might differ from what you prefer another!
Play with your toys! Vibrators are a great way to begin exploring your sexual desires, and for women who find they prefer more intense clitoral stimulation, they can be a welcome addition to your sexual family!
She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when she comes… When, after much exploration, experimentation, and fun, you feel the pressure start to mount and the sensations intensify, congratulations! You’re about to have an orgasm! But don’t forget to relax… you need to give your orgasm breathing room. So don’t forget to breathe! Concentrate on your breath, on the delightful sensations… make whatever silly or weird noises and movements feel natural to you–orgasms are all about letting go of yourself and your judgment!
Be a tease! To intensify and lengthen your orgasms, don’t be afraid to tease yourself! As you approach orgasm, back off from stimulating yourself until you feel the sensations recede a little. Then dive in again! Do this as often as you wish… it will help you figure out where your threshold is and even how to control when and how strongly you orgasm!
Practice makes awesome. There is no such thing as a “perfect” or “right” orgasm. Orgasms can feel like a delightful little ripple or a roaring wave. There can be one or many. And it can change from day to day! But the only way to figure out how you work is to practice practice practice! Masturbation feels good and is good for your health, even if you don’t orgasm! It can help build confidence in and out of the bedroom, and is the best way to exponentially improve your partnered sex life. So what are you waiting for? Hop on the pleasure train!
(Source: early2bed.com, via locksandglasses)
